January 26, 2013
Never Be Lied To Again by David Lieberman
Never Be Lied To Again goes through all the different ways of lying, how to determine if someone is lying, how to get to them to tell the truth, and other strategies you could ever want to know. It helps determine body language, phrases used by liars, and methods they use to cover up their lies. It also tells you how to coax the truth out by different methods of interrogation or giving people the "easy way" out of a lie. It says that you can get to the truth in five minutes by using these methods.
Ok, well here's the problem. In order to begin to memorize these strategies and use them, it's going to take way more than five minutes. In fact, by the time you get the hang of it, you may not even need the skill anymore. And then there are the dubious ways that you would go about getting the answer you want. A lot of it involves lying yourself, which I've always heard two wrongs don't make a right. And then there's the promising good things will happen if the person tells the truth, without really saying if you should back it up. If you lie about not getting mad, etc. the person is only going to believe you once, and this method will become ineffectual after the second time. In fact, the whole process for ferreting out a lie seems sleazy and relationship damaging. Especially if the person you suspect is lying, is telling the truth.
Then there's the recognizing if someone is a liar or not. There are some well known truthful ways to determine that in here. For example, body language and no eye contact. But then there's the little test I ran. The book says that if someone is recalling a memory, they look up and to the opposite side of their dominant hand. If they are making it up, they look up and to the same side as their dominant hand. I walked up to my mother (who did not know the book I was reading) and asked her what the color of her first car was. She looked up and to the left (she's left handed) and said that it was copper. And she has the pictures to back up the fact she was telling the truth. Ok, that was one time, I did the same thing with my brother, asking him a memory question and he looked me straight in the eye when he answered. So to me, even though I know this wasn't a full experiment, it was a pretty big clue that not everything in this book is true or useful.
Another criticism I would have is that aside from a couple sentences, the book doesn't go into socio-paths, mental disease, and other types of people that this book would have no bearing on. If you don't care that you're lying, believe your lie is the truth, or are convinced that your lie is in the best interest of everyone, nothing is this book is going to work at ferreting out that lie. And having been in a relationship with two liars, one of which would probably have admitted to things using a couple of the applicable yet sleazy methods in this book and one who was a socio-path and lied because he had no care of its effect, I can say firsthand that it is the second person who scares me the most. Not the first. Lies, while they hurt, are easier to deal with than someone who can lie without impunity and not care about its effects.
To just comment on the overall writing style of the book. It's written in a clear precise way with bullet points outlining the helpful steps and tips. I can't find fault with the way the book is formatted. It also reads simplistic, and easy to understand for most anyone who would pick this book up.
I know I sound rough on this book, but I really didn't find it helpful at all. I would never practice the methods here for fear of becoming a worse person (and a liar) myself. If I suspect someone of lying and need to use the methods here, it's probably best I don't associate with that person at all instead of going through all the trouble this book suggests. Not a book I would recommend to anyone.
Never Be Lied To Again